Jonathan Ross

Jonathan “Wossie” Ross evidently wasn’t sufficiently bullied at school. Moderately effective at his film reviews, it’s his painfully self-indulgent chat show that’s the real reason for his unforgivable rubbishness. On Friday nights on BBC One, Ross invites celebrity guests into the studio and subjects them to a series of excruciating knob jokes whilst tossing his “Richard Madeley-esque” mid-life crisis fringe back and chortling away with the odd question about said person’s latest project.
Ross’ arrogance results in an interview where you’re more likely to find out where he’s just been on holiday or what his son’s hamster is called than why said person has deigned to turn up.
His interview style is almost the complete opposite of fellow rubbish interviewer Michael Parkinson, who trades on his slow-witted Yorkshireness and rarely makes comment.Each female guest will be offered sexual intercourse several times throughout the interview, each male guest will be accused of sexual deviancy or animal husbandry an equal number of times. This is because actual stony-faced factual content can’t hold the attention of Joe Public anymore, his brain indefinitely clogged with waste chemicals from his food.
There’s no getting around the fact that somehow Britain has allowed a fat lispy tosser to become a ridiculously high-paid primetime chat-show host. And millions of people watch it, millions, because idiotic knob-jokes are still king. Jesus wept.